September 19, 2013
Hi God, come on in, welcome to my home! Thanks so much for being here, for giving me this time--oops, hold on, I gotta see what TJ needs....
Ok I'm back, thanks for waiting. Sorry about the clothes all over the couch, I just can't seem to keep up with them this week! I know they say first thing in the morning is the best time to meet with You, but I have a little one who wakes me up for his morning nurse, and well, you know how it goes from there. Even now, that toy train noise is so distracting I have a hard time expressing myself!
Hi God, come on in, welcome to my home! Thanks so much for being here, for giving me this time--oops, hold on, I gotta see what TJ needs....
Ok I'm back, thanks for waiting. Sorry about the clothes all over the couch, I just can't seem to keep up with them this week! I know they say first thing in the morning is the best time to meet with You, but I have a little one who wakes me up for his morning nurse, and well, you know how it goes from there. Even now, that toy train noise is so distracting I have a hard time expressing myself!
I'm so tired. I hope You don't mind hearing me say that every day. Sometimes my mind is so full and yet so fuzzy I don't want to say anything, I just want to curl up in your lap and breathe quietly. Just BE with You. No need for words, no need to try to think or articulate or process the load of things on my heart through a funnel of words.
Oops, hold on, it's my husband texting, if I don't get it, he won't know when to come home for lunch, so sorry, God!....
Ok, I'm back, where was I? Oh yeah.... Sometimes I just want to hear You. Not talk, just listen. Or just read. But if I do that too long it feels like a one-way street, and I know You want to hear from me, too. I dunno, God, I'd like to unload my heart and mind on You, but it's all mixed up with laundry and toys and frustration with disobedience.
Oh, sorry! I need to wipe my son's bottom! Sorry....
Ok, sorry that took so long, the baby needed a diaper change, too.
Where were we? Oh, I don't know....
.... So.... Thank you for the rain.
How am I going to get through all those dishes plus make lunch, put away all these clothes, keep my boys out of trouble...?
You know, I really need help I parenting right now, God. I'm trying so hard, but my kids don't seem to be impacted by my greatest efforts to civilize them. I've been seeking and getting lots of advice, and it's starting to get more confusing instead of less. Sometimes I just feel like I'm dropping the ball so bad, like I'm raising little monsters. Like my greatest efforts are making them worse!
Excuse me....
He was out of bed again, Lord. How can I go from Your presence, from praying for wisdom and patience, and feel so INSTANTLY furious?? Oh help me, PLEASE!
I feel so behind right now. And the things that need to be done feel so insignificant. Being a mom really feels like the bottom of the totem pole to me, even though I believe it is very important. Help me to put my heart into it. Help me to value what I do and who I do it for.
Oops! Hold on!....
Sorry God, I have a mess to clean up now and then a meal to start. I wish we had more time! Thanks for understanding! Please, feel free to hang around! We'll talk some more later!
Oops, hold on, it's my husband texting, if I don't get it, he won't know when to come home for lunch, so sorry, God!....
Ok, I'm back, where was I? Oh yeah.... Sometimes I just want to hear You. Not talk, just listen. Or just read. But if I do that too long it feels like a one-way street, and I know You want to hear from me, too. I dunno, God, I'd like to unload my heart and mind on You, but it's all mixed up with laundry and toys and frustration with disobedience.
Oh, sorry! I need to wipe my son's bottom! Sorry....
Ok, sorry that took so long, the baby needed a diaper change, too.
Where were we? Oh, I don't know....
.... So.... Thank you for the rain.
How am I going to get through all those dishes plus make lunch, put away all these clothes, keep my boys out of trouble...?
You know, I really need help I parenting right now, God. I'm trying so hard, but my kids don't seem to be impacted by my greatest efforts to civilize them. I've been seeking and getting lots of advice, and it's starting to get more confusing instead of less. Sometimes I just feel like I'm dropping the ball so bad, like I'm raising little monsters. Like my greatest efforts are making them worse!
Excuse me....
He was out of bed again, Lord. How can I go from Your presence, from praying for wisdom and patience, and feel so INSTANTLY furious?? Oh help me, PLEASE!
I feel so behind right now. And the things that need to be done feel so insignificant. Being a mom really feels like the bottom of the totem pole to me, even though I believe it is very important. Help me to put my heart into it. Help me to value what I do and who I do it for.
Oops! Hold on!....
Sorry God, I have a mess to clean up now and then a meal to start. I wish we had more time! Thanks for understanding! Please, feel free to hang around! We'll talk some more later!